Monthly Archives: April 2009

Eliot: 99 Days

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So last week, I took a course on safety in the hospital setting. This week and next week, I am taking a course on management of a dying patient. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to die, but we are taught how to give them a pain free and dignified way of spending their last hours or months of life. It was a very helpful course. Sometimes, nurses who have been around the block get desensitized from it all due to the fact that we see it on a minute by minute basis. Classes like this definitely help to represent everything we nurses stand for.  I will soon write about my two death experiences as a private entry. Please ask me for the password if you’re interested in reading that piece when, and if, it ever comes out.

Anyway, this video was shown during the Pediatric portion of the class. I definitely did not think I had to put on my waterproof mascara this morning. I was crying like a mad woman. It is a wonderful video made by the parents Eliot, who was born in a hospital here in Illinois. The nurse who taught the pediatric portion was one of the nurses caring for this family. They wanted to capture each miraculous day that Eliot spent on this place called Earth. It’s definitely an emotional piece. Make sure you have a tissue at hand. I can’t wait for the second portion of this class next week. I really learned a lot today!

PS: I didn’t think it was possible to show anyone who wasn’t part of this class this video. Amazingly, I found the video on YouTube after just one try. I just had to share it with you guys now, too!



I’m Gonna Miss It

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My dad comes back today from the Philippines. We’re actually all ready to pick him up, minus the hubby who is at work. Thank goodness it looks like a beautiful day outside. Finally! That finally deserved its own sentence with an exclamation point. Anyway, I’m gonna miss it. My mom is never one to sleep alone in the dark- kinda like me oddly enough. So while my dad was away, Jasmyne was sleeping with her at night. There were some days when Jasmyne refused to sleep with her and wanted to sleep with us. I felt bad and didn’t want to turn her away, so my mom would be sleepless in her bedroom on those few occasions- with the lights on may I add. I enjoyed the cuddle time at night between the hubby and I. We got to talk and well, you know the other stuff too! It’s weird when Jasmyne is there because she can sense when Dex and I are sleeping next to each other and she has been pushed to one side of the bed. Even if we try to trick her and put a pillow to simulate one of us, she will know. She will wake up and then have a hard time falling back asleep. So I missed her with us at night, but I’m gonna miss the quality time with the hubby at night even more. I know I can “train” Jasmyne to sleep on her own without a problem, but due to some constraints, we’ll just have to wait it out a little bit longer. Her bed is in our bedroom, but having us too close to home makes it difficult for her to transition. Although, she has slept in her bed about 5 times already. I can’t wait until the day!

Anyway, I started reading this book I’ve been meaning to read since a long time ago. It is part of the Something Borrowed and Something New series, but not a continuation of the two stories. If you haven’t read the above books yet, then I highly recommend it. This new book is called Baby Proof and it is something that totally relates to me in some ways as you may have guessed from the title. It is about a woman who knew from the start that she NEVER wanted to have babies. She thinks that society has totally twisted everyone’s mind about the steps to take in life to make you complete. OKAY SO OBVIOUSLY THAT PART does not pertain to me. I was, however, part of her “society” because I’ve known since I was young that I wanted to get married and have children. I guess she is right. i don’t know where I have would have gotten that idea so young in my life. I wanted my first child at 30, but it came earlier than expected in my life calendar. This brings me to another topic that she covered in her book.

Ironically enough, just a couple of weeks ago, I was having this same exact conversation with a couple of  co-workers. One of them had five children and her youngest is about to start college. Another one has elementary age kids. One of them didn’t have kids at all and was not even married yet, so we were kind of giving her ideas about this process we call life. I love having kids and I DON’T regret ever having them at all. I just wanted to clarify that, but I think if given the choice again, I would wait until later in life. We were all discussing how once you have kids, you can’t really say: Oh once their 18, I’m gonna be free. In actuality, you will be worrying and feeding your kids until your day has come at the end of your life. There really is no magic number. So my response was how right they were. I wanted to have kids younger so that when they get older and I don’t have to worry about them anymore and I am still young. But look at my parents. We’re all pretty old, but they still worry. They still do their life’s schedule based on mine (ours). I look at my aunt’s and uncles and think the same thing. Even my grandma was worried about her children until her last breath. So  my conclusion, which is like the conclusion of the woman in the book is this: why have them earlier if you will have all your life to worry about them anyway? You may as well have them later, except she absolutely preferred not to have them at all. She thinks that if you want to have kids early to get it over with, then that means they are a bother to being with. If you want to have kids later on in life to prolong the process, then doesn’t that mean you are making yourself suffer? That was according to her eyes. Anyway, I am not finished with the book yet. I am assuming she will end up having a child accidentally. I am assuming she will reap the benefits of it- the happiness it gives you and totally take back every bit of negativity she said about the “process” in the first place.

I can write a book about these topics without a problem. I guess the point is, whether you are young or old, you have to be truly ready to have children. Not just one person, but as a team. It is definitely a leap. I think it is the MAIN cause of today’s high divorce rate among people. They follow what society has told them should happen after marriage without really thinking deeply into it. It really takes two special people and an unbreakable bond and team work. Thank goodness I know I have found that other person who is special for me. Special enough for me to know that he is definitely the right person to have had fathered my children and perfect enough as a husband for me. It’s pretty rare nowadays to find that. Whew!

Have a happy weekend everyone!

10: Signs That You’re Getting Older

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Today’s post is from The Daily Meme: Ten On Tuesday

So obviously, in my case, I am much older than the average person my age. This is for the simple fact that I have a family and two young children. That kind of changes my perspective in life. It definitely alters my priorities. Here is a list of 10 things (in random order) of signs I am getting older, but not necessarily feeling older. Enjoy my list!

1. People all around me are getting older. Those who were older when I was young are definitely old now. My younger nieces and nephews are not so young anymore.

2. My 10/11 year High School reunion is just around the corner.

3. I have two kids. One of them will be starting pre-school this fall.

4. When I go to a club, I feel like I’m out of the loop. Don’t mistake it though, I still have lots of fun even though I feel out of place.

5. One drink can knock me the EFF out!

6. I feel like a history book! I was around when the Sears Tower was THE Sears Tower. I was part of the first African American President become President and knew it was a historic moment. Comiskey Park was Comiskey Park in my days.

7. Ten years from now, when Jasmyne is a teenager, NSYNC and NEYO will be considered OLDIES but goodies.Kinda like Elvis and The Beatles were for my parents.

8. Gray hairs are emerging. Yikes!

9. I can’t tolerate high heels as much anymore.

10. I’m tunring 30 this year.

- Next week should be 10 signs that I’m still feeling young. Don’t doubt that I have plenty of those in stock for you guys. More so than the feeling old list. Wow! I’m so positive today! Happy Tuesday!

Happy Easter

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So I was never a big fan of Easter, but after having two kids, this may soon become one of my favorite holidays ever. When we were young, it was fun to decorate eggs and have an egg hunt with all my cousins (who happen to be mostly boys). That was a faint memory. As all the kids became older, Easter kind of became blah in our family. I was talking to one of my co-workers and I told her that I never in my life  got an Easter Basket. She was so shocked! I never made my own children Easter baskets either, because it was never a thing to do in my family. In fact, I it never even crossed my mind to make them one. Neither did the hubby, cause he never got one either when he was younger. Maybe it was because I grew up with so many boys and Dex grew up in a family of only boys as well. She proceeded to tell me that her parents STILL made her and her brother Easter baskets. That was the one thing she was looking forward to this weekend. She doesn’t go home to see her parents too often since they live out of state, but she couldn’t wait to come home to see what was in her basket. Mind you, she is in her 30′s. Then this rang a bell in my head. I’ve told Dex that I wanted to start family traditions during the holidays- and this has got to be one of them. I will be making my children Easter baskets until the very end. I am so excited to start this.I am so late in the game that I will need to buy my stuffers and make it today, the day before Easter

We were supposed to go Easter Egg Hunting at one of our local parks today, but it is too cold out. Jasmyne and Janelle caught a cold from their cousin last week, so I don’t want to make it any worse. Tomorrow we are going to Easter Mass and then having brunch at Hilton Indian Lakes Resort. I loved this particular one after searching and searching for a brunch location because they have a knee high (only for kids) buffet line. They also have pictures with the Easter Bunny, balloon artist and their very own Easter Egg Hunt. I think it will be cute to come to a place where all the kids are dressed for their Sunday best. After ward, we invited family and friends to come over for dinner. I don;t know who will be showing up, but we’ll just have the place ready for whoever ends up coming. It was a last minute thing. It’ll be okay since Dex and I are still off on Monday and I will still be off on Tuesday. Yeah baby! I’m so excited.

I had a pretty eventful morning and also booked our little one day getaway to Wisconsin Dells. Due to scheduling reasons, we can’t really go until the end of May. We’re going to be staying at the Wilderness Resort. I’ve heard lots of good things about the place. Plus, it looks like there are plenty of indoor and outdoor activities to do with the kids- all in one place. I’m loving summertime already.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Jon and Kate

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It’s likely just coincidental, but there is always a reality TV show that I find myself relating to at important milestones of my life. During my marriage, I loved watching The Newlyweds: Nick and Jess. Their relationship totally reminded me of my relationship with Dexter. It was so scary because we related to them almost 96% of the time. Then they went down the drain, which I am still crying over to this day. I still believe that they still love each other, but that’s just me.

So I DO NOT watch television too often. I don’t have a show I have to watch or follow. Thank goodness. My free time is spent more on the internet. I shop on there. I update my life on there. I stay updated on other people’s life on there too. All I have to say is thank goodness for nap time. Anyway, Jon and Kate Plus Eight has become one of my favorite shows. I can’t say that Dex and I relate to them as much as we did with Nick and Jess, but we still relate to them nevertheless. I find great joy when Dex and I can look at each other and realize that we are not the only ones going through what we are going through. I love when Kate says something and I look at Dex and give him a look that says: See I am not the only biatch in this world. They are such an inspiration as parents to me. It’s so hard to be a parent of two kids, so I can only imagine. Heck- I would only want to imagine. They have done such a good job with everything up to this point. Besides, those kids (all eight of them) are the second cutest kids next to mine. I still don’t know how they have done it all these years. I also can’t believe how fast those kids have grown- and how fast mine are growing. Oh life!

That is why I am Hoping and Praying that the rumors aren’t true. Jon is soooooo good with his kids (and his wife) that I couldn’t imagine him straying the wrong way. It just can’t be. That’s why to all the people who get married, my first advice is for them to enjoy each other. Many people tell me that they have been living together for years and are ready to have children. To me, though, living together has nothing to do with it. Many couples live together, but they haven’t really spent time together. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but people live together and lead busy lives outside of it. At least it seems busy at the moment. Once you have kids, you cannot go back to having alone time with only each other. After marriage is a good time to concentrate on one another- to travel and enjoy life without the hassles of trying to finish school or paying the bills. I tell people that they should TRULY get to know and enjoy each others company. Once you have kids, it will be some time before you can tell yourself you don’t have to worry about them. Actually, after you have kids, many people relate their freedom to spend time with one another to their retirement! Can you imagine that? Sheesh. Thank goodness Dex and I are not thinking that far in advance.

I don’t regret what happened to Dex and I at all. I feel that we lived together and were lucky enough not to have financial problems. We travelled a lot, but I must admit, not enough to say I was satisfied. When I think of it now, I do wish that we travelled more. We have a strong bond that we can fall on though, and that is the most important thing. I pray every night for our family, because nothing is ever certain. It takes a lot of hard work. It’s not hard work only sometimes… it’s putting in hard work every second of the day. Cheesy I know, but believe me, it’s true!

First Day

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The other day was Jasmyne’s first day of her On My Own class at our park district. It’s basically a prep course prior to pre-school, which she will hopefully start in the fall. She’s already enrolled and accepted for their program. It’s just a matter of her being fully potty trained at that time. Anyway, she was super excited to start “school” and mommy was secretly anticipating it too. She really is not exposed to kids intelectually. She plays with her cousin David often, but he is not really talking yet. She’s always playing at the Play Yard at Woodfield Mall, but that’s more like a gym. None of the kids Jasmyne’s age are really talking to one another. Jazzy tries to introduce herself, but other kids run away from her thinking she’s crazy. So when we got to class, it was surprising for me to see how familiar she was with it. She sat on the table next to another student. She sat there and she sat there, as if she was waiting for school to start. I’m assuming it’s from the cartoons that she watches. The teacher kept calling her Jasmyne and she would respond by correcting the teacher saying her name is Jayda. She told the girl next to her: My name is Jayda. What’s your name? It was so cute.

The parents stay for the whole time only during the first class, so it was so much fun on my end watching her interact with other kids. It will definitely teach her how to share. I noticed this right from the start. The letter of the day was F, so they had to make Fans by attatching Feathers to paper plates with glue.  Lily, her new friend, took the glue that was in between them. She grabbed it from Lily and told her that was “mine”. We were told not to interfere too much, so I couldn’t really react. The teacher told her she had to share the glue, to which she did after she put some glue on her plate. After that project was done, it was basically an open class in which they could do anything they wanted. They could play Legos or play with the kitchen or color or play in the sand box. So Jayda decides to play in the kitchen with some of the other kids. When she got bored, she told the girls: Let’s go! Let’s color now! Come on. Follow me. The girls did follow her over to the desk, to which Jazz proceeded to give them each a marker. She told them to color with THOSE markers. When they put it down a minute later to use another one, Jazz told them NO! They have to color with the marker . She was handing them back the original marker she had given them, to which the girls took and used again. We were all pretty much laughing and thinking how cute it was. The other parents were asking if Jazzy was my kid, to which I had to admit to! Hahaha. The teacher had to remind Jasmyne and another boy throughout the whole session that they had to share, to which Jasmyne politely obeyed. The teacher told me it was normal and that it all gets better once socialization skills are better. I don’t know about you, but she was socializing just fine- maybe even too much. Some of the other kids were pretty shy, but once they get the hang of each other, Jazzy will start to correct herself. That is according to the teacher. We’ll see how next week goes. This Thursday she’s got Toddler Gym and Crafts. Basically a gym and crafts group, with the organized help of a teacher. Again, my main goal is for active and organized socialization with other kids who are talking. Being an “only” child in my family makes it hard to teach her how to share with other kids when there is not that much opportunity to expose her to it. I’ll keep you guys updated.

As soon as we got home, we taught her that when she is in school her name is Jasmyne. When she is at home and with family, her name is Jayda. Oh what have I done. I’ve got her all confused. She pretty much understood it though. Thank goodness Janelle is what it is- Janelle. That was my goal exactly.


101 Update

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I have been just a little bit busy lately. I hope you guys can somehow sense my sarcasm related to the first sentence. I didn’t literally mean “a little” you know? I’ve had two kids for a long while now, but the tasks are just slowly piling up and up. On a good note, we managed to slip a little vacation to Vegas in there. It was a good break. The kids did FANTASTIC on the airplane. They were well behaved and quiet. You’d think they were shy and never cried in their life! Now I am planning our next family vacation in a land not too far away. It’s one of my favorite places on Earth- Wisconsin Dells!

For the next month, we are adding two new things into our already busy schedule. Jasmyne will be starting some activities at the park district on Mondays and Thursdays. I opted out of the swimming stuff for now.  I’ll save that for later on in the year. Even though Jazz is so ready for it, Dex and I just aren’t quite ready for it yet. It will need some dedication on our part to take her to the swimming pool outside of her scheduled swim classes once a week. We just don’t have that time as of yet!

Anyway, after a long break, I wanted to post my accomplishments regarding my 101 tasks! It’s a good way to update on what’s been going on lately.  I’m not doing quite as good as I had expected, but progressing thus far!

9. No rice for a day- 300 times.Okay. So for Lent, I decided that I was going to give up rice. I figured I was doing a good deed for myself (health wise) and contributing somewhat to my religion. I had a talk with God and he said it would be okay if I had rice on one occasion. That means, I was giving up rice 39/40 days of Lent. Well I decided early on that day would be during our Vegas trip. Since that fateful day in Vegas, I AM STILL EATING RICE! I have failed myself and my religion. Sorry! At least I can add some days to my 101 task. It was partially good for something!

22. Do the laundry once a week. I am surprised with myself that I am still managing to do the laundry once a week. It may not be a big deal to most of you, but for me, IT is a big deal. I am still amazed at how much laundry can pile up overnight. I still can’t figure out how my mom did it for a family of six grown people. WoW!

26. Wear a bathing suit and feel good in it. This has gotta be the biggest surprise ever. It is coming at such an early time- which is least expected on my part. I AM SO FAR off from my goal weight, but for the first time in my life, I felt comfortable in my own skin. This all happened in Vegas, amidst the Spring Breakers half naked in their sexy bikinis. I actually felt sexy and felt good taking off my cover up. I didn’t think twice. This is not to say that I think my body is sexy in any way, but after having had two kids, I didn’t really care. I think my confidence mentally allowed me to shine through. Cheesy, I know, but I’m proud of accomplishing this task at this time in my life!

27. Potty train Jasmyne. It’s still in red, so it has not been accomplished, but it definitely has begun. Jazzy goes to her potty at least twice a day. She goes once in the day and again before she goes to bed. In between that is different depending on the day. Sometimes she’ll go all day using the potty, sometimes she’ll only ask to go once in between. Dex and I are not rushing at all. We’re taking our time and giving her lots of props- which is the key. She loves it!

45. Drive the truck with confidence. BINGO! Who would have thunk that I would fall so in love with the truck. I don’t love it cause it’s a truck- but because of the navigation system. I could get lost not knowing where the hell I am but stil make it to point a and b and then back. I love it and it suits me. I can drive away and run errands even if Dexter is at work- with both of the kids! No more staying home casue I can’t drive the car which seats all the car seats. Confidence meant: driving at high speeds cutting people off with ease! Check! Confidence meant: Being able to park in tight spaces without leaving marks on the cars next to me. Check! Now I can’t drive anything else but IT!

70. Jasmyne will be “pacifier-less” Okay! So my little baby pooper must be growing up soooo fast. She takes a shower all by herself now too. I just have to pop in to wash her bootie and shampoo her hair and she rinses and does things all by herself. She has also been OFF her pacifier for a while now. It didn’t take all but two days. It was more of when Dex and I would put our foot down. Since we did, she never asked for it again! I’m so proud of her!

Next on my list is my Dear Me, Dear Jasmyne and Dear Janelle letters. I have so much I want to say and I don’t want to forget it. Also, I’m getting my tattoo April 13th with my coworker. I have yet to officially decide what I’m getting, but our DATE is set. No backing out rule! Whew! So excited!

Anyway, one more day of work tomorrow and we’re off for the weekend! Happy Friday everyone!