My dad comes back today from the Philippines. We’re actually all ready to pick him up, minus the hubby who is at work. Thank goodness it looks like a beautiful day outside. Finally! That finally deserved its own sentence with an exclamation point. Anyway, I’m gonna miss it. My mom is never one to sleep alone in the dark- kinda like me oddly enough. So while my dad was away, Jasmyne was sleeping with her at night. There were some days when Jasmyne refused to sleep with her and wanted to sleep with us. I felt bad and didn’t want to turn her away, so my mom would be sleepless in her bedroom on those few occasions- with the lights on may I add. I enjoyed the cuddle time at night between the hubby and I. We got to talk and well, you know the other stuff too! It’s weird when Jasmyne is there because she can sense when Dex and I are sleeping next to each other and she has been pushed to one side of the bed. Even if we try to trick her and put a pillow to simulate one of us, she will know. She will wake up and then have a hard time falling back asleep. So I missed her with us at night, but I’m gonna miss the quality time with the hubby at night even more. I know I can “train” Jasmyne to sleep on her own without a problem, but due to some constraints, we’ll just have to wait it out a little bit longer. Her bed is in our bedroom, but having us too close to home makes it difficult for her to transition. Although, she has slept in her bed about 5 times already. I can’t wait until the day!
Anyway, I started reading this book I’ve been meaning to read since a long time ago. It is part of the Something Borrowed and Something New series, but not a continuation of the two stories. If you haven’t read the above books yet, then I highly recommend it. This new book is called Baby Proof and it is something that totally relates to me in some ways as you may have guessed from the title. It is about a woman who knew from the start that she NEVER wanted to have babies. She thinks that society has totally twisted everyone’s mind about the steps to take in life to make you complete. OKAY SO OBVIOUSLY THAT PART does not pertain to me. I was, however, part of her “society” because I’ve known since I was young that I wanted to get married and have children. I guess she is right. i don’t know where I have would have gotten that idea so young in my life. I wanted my first child at 30, but it came earlier than expected in my life calendar. This brings me to another topic that she covered in her book.
Ironically enough, just a couple of weeks ago, I was having this same exact conversation with a couple of co-workers. One of them had five children and her youngest is about to start college. Another one has elementary age kids. One of them didn’t have kids at all and was not even married yet, so we were kind of giving her ideas about this process we call life. I love having kids and I DON’T regret ever having them at all. I just wanted to clarify that, but I think if given the choice again, I would wait until later in life. We were all discussing how once you have kids, you can’t really say: Oh once their 18, I’m gonna be free. In actuality, you will be worrying and feeding your kids until your day has come at the end of your life. There really is no magic number. So my response was how right they were. I wanted to have kids younger so that when they get older and I don’t have to worry about them anymore and I am still young. But look at my parents. We’re all pretty old, but they still worry. They still do their life’s schedule based on mine (ours). I look at my aunt’s and uncles and think the same thing. Even my grandma was worried about her children until her last breath. So my conclusion, which is like the conclusion of the woman in the book is this: why have them earlier if you will have all your life to worry about them anyway? You may as well have them later, except she absolutely preferred not to have them at all. She thinks that if you want to have kids early to get it over with, then that means they are a bother to being with. If you want to have kids later on in life to prolong the process, then doesn’t that mean you are making yourself suffer? That was according to her eyes. Anyway, I am not finished with the book yet. I am assuming she will end up having a child accidentally. I am assuming she will reap the benefits of it- the happiness it gives you and totally take back every bit of negativity she said about the “process” in the first place.
I can write a book about these topics without a problem. I guess the point is, whether you are young or old, you have to be truly ready to have children. Not just one person, but as a team. It is definitely a leap. I think it is the MAIN cause of today’s high divorce rate among people. They follow what society has told them should happen after marriage without really thinking deeply into it. It really takes two special people and an unbreakable bond and team work. Thank goodness I know I have found that other person who is special for me. Special enough for me to know that he is definitely the right person to have had fathered my children and perfect enough as a husband for me. It’s pretty rare nowadays to find that. Whew!
Have a happy weekend everyone!